Aging ain't for Sissies
Aging isn't easy. Make sure your complete well-being is handled with a community and information that can make it easier and FUN. Aging needs humor, which you can find in the "Aging ain't for Sissies" Podcast, along with informational guests that give us the information we need.
Aging ain't for Sissies
Defying Gravity and Grumpiness: Keys to Staying Positive and Youthful as You Age
But more importantly, I dive into the idea that grumpiness isn't an inevitable part of aging. Through my experiences with elderly neighbors and old photos, I've discovered that negativity and anger can age a person faster than anything else. Tune in as I offer actionable tips to help you stay positive, encouraging patience and understanding when it comes to children and teenagers. Don't miss out on this eye-opening discussion on the importance of making young people feel seen and valued. Subscribe to the podcast and keep that smile on your face as we fight against gravity and grumpiness together!
Hello and welcome to the Aging Ape for Sissy's podcast. My name is Marcy Backus and I am your host. Well, on today's episode we are going to talk about how not to be a grumpy old person. I think it sounds easier than it is, so sit back Well, check in on what I've been doing this week, and then we are going to talk about how not to be that grumpy old person. Well, it's been a week since we spoke and I'm going to be 100% honest, because I'm always honest, or as honest as I think I can be, with you guys.
Speaker 1:I totally forgot to record this week's episode. So it is Monday morning in Chicago at 6.55, 58 AM. Craig left at like four o'clock this morning for a flight to. He works out of oh my gosh, i can't St George, utah. Once a month he flies there and works from his headquarters. But yeah, last night, 10 o'clock, i thought, oh, i didn't record my episode. And then I decided I am much fresher and better in the morning than trying to crank out an episode last night. Only I had it planned so I knew what I was going to talk about, but just totally spaced on it this week. I always have it in my calendar for Friday.
Speaker 1:And on Friday, craig and I took a fabulous bike ride down the coast of Lake Michigan. The beautiful thing here in Chicago is that we have a wonderful walking and bike path. So walkers are on one side, bikers are on another and it's like 40 or 50 miles long. I don't know how long this bike path is, but I've done quite a bit of it now, really enjoy it. And the last time I walked my bike to the lake and even though it's just a couple blocks, when you're trying to walk your bike on the sidewalk and electric e-bikes are heavy even though mine has assist when you're walking, funny enough, it hurts my hands And those of you that know my crunchy hands. That's why holding those handlebars and kind of pushing it forward.
Speaker 1:So I thought, okay, this time I'm going to be brave and I'm going to drive my bike on the city streets of Chicago. So Craig and I planned out a route And the smart thing we did was we went on a one-way street. So we went with the flow of traffic on a one-way street. I realized that riding your bike on city streets is just like driving You have to be fearless, because if you show fear or if you second guess yourself, that's when you're going to get in trouble. So it doesn't mean be stupid, but it means if you've done something you commit, because if you change your mind that's when trouble's going to happen. So I did quite fine riding my bike to the lake and riding my bike back. So I feel more comfortable with that. We kind of carved out a route. If we're going south now if we're going to go north we're going to have to carve out another route, but I think it's going to be the same one I walk when I go to the gym. So that is what's happening Interesting.
Speaker 1:The other day I was walking to the gym and a girl dressed in full-on princess garb crossed the street and was walking in front of me. You know, your head thinks that I I'm so bad because my head thought oh, it's the princess walk of shame. I'm like princess was out late last night or she was going to I don't know where at this time of day in a princess costume, but during the week it wasn't like a kid's party or anything, i don't know. All I could think of is it was the princess walk of shame and it just made me laugh. I had to videotape her too, because, come on, who wouldn't? What else was last week?
Speaker 1:Oh, craig and I saw West Side Story here at the Lyric Opera House. Great musical, one of my favorites of all time. I know all of the lyrics. I listened to the album when I was a kid over and over and over and over and over again, and I still know all the lyrics. Wonderful, wonderful show. The Tony had an incredible voice And if you know West Side Story, you know that hitting some of those high low notes just phenomenal. And it was good to be out in the theater again.
Speaker 1:Went to dinner beforehand, had a little nightmare of finding where we had gotten a parking garage. If you don't know Chicago, chicago has upper Wacker Drive and lower Wacker Drive, and lower Wacker Drive has a lot of entrances to these parking garages. However, when you put in the address, your GPS does not recognize it as a lower street, so it can make things interesting. So finally got to our parking garage, which was great. They had electric chargers, which always makes me happy because I have a plug-in hybrid, and so I got to charge my car while we were at the theater, which, again in Chicago is a rare thing to find chargers that don't cost you a billion dollars. And what else did we do? last week? We were busy last week, excited.
Speaker 1:This week, nascar in Chicago. We are leaving. Like a lot of the Chicagoans We are true Chicagoans We are getting the heck out of the city. Nascar is coming to the city. Road closures are starting. Thank goodness, i walked 90% of the places I go. I went and did some errands yesterday. Got that out of the way. Craig is gone for the week. He comes home Thursday and we leave Friday for California to our friend Bob and Lucy's Beach House, very excited about that. Going to go up to my family, chris's for 4th of July and see some family and be out of this city. Well, the craziness of NASCAR happens. I'm sure it's going to start happening this week.
Speaker 1:Living in a tourist area is very interesting. Driving in the summer has become quite challenging. There's just a lot more people. It's the walking people that cause all the problems. They walk when they're not supposed to And it's just. It's crazy, but this is my second year so I'm getting used to it. What else is happening?
Speaker 1:Been going to the gym three times a week. I really like it. Very happy, very fancy gym which I enjoy. They have eucalyptus towels. I love that When I finish my workout I get one of those ice cold eucalyptus towels. It's just delightful, very delightful, and I love walking there. And it's in a beautiful shopping mall, very high-end shopping mall. It just feels fancy. So it makes you want to go. It really does, and you never know You could have a princess walking the Walk of Shame in front of you on the way to the gym. Plus, when I walk I go by my favorite little triangle park. As I've told you a billion times over, chicago is very green in the sense of trees, and everywhere they could fit a little park, they did. And my favorite triangle park, where Ginny's ice cream is, has got my favorite huge giant tree in it as well. Sometimes I just stop and sit there and enjoy. Life is short, we need to enjoy it. So that's really all that went on with me. I will say that I got approval for going to a cardiac group at the University of Chicago Hospital Yeah, i think that's the one. I can't remember I've got a call this morning and make an appointment with a cardiologist group there. So I'm very excited that I got the approval from that for my insurance.
Speaker 1:I hate insurance. That's all I can say. I'm grateful for it, but I hate it all at the same time. They seem to screw up every single solitary claim And after being on Kaiser in California for years this claim process, this whole thing you get approval. They say you don't have it. I'm sitting looking at it. Well, can you scan and send that to us? It's like why don't you have it? I don't get it. Anyways, that's my rant, my soapbox about insurance. It's a pain in the arse, is what it is.
Speaker 1:So, speaking of my grumpy old lady-ness, this morning we're going to talk about nine habits you can cultivate to prevent turning into a grumpy I'm going to say old person. I'm not going to say an old woman because, let me tell you, watching Craig turn into this grumpy old man sometimes, and I really fight the grumpy old lady thing. So we're going to talk about some habits that you can get. So grab that coffee, grab that iced tea, wherever If you're driving in the car, sit back and listen. This will be an enjoyable episode. Okay, nine habits you can cultivate to prevent turning into a grumpy old person. You probably know a grumpy old person. Think about it. They aren't fun to be around And if you let them, they can suck all the energy out of a room.
Speaker 1:It can be difficult to be in the company of a grumpy old person, male or female, and a lot of times we do it out of obligation. I don't want to be a grumpy old person, but there are many reasons why somebody may become grumpy. Perhaps they're experiencing chronic pain which leave them exhausted and frustrated, and after years of chronic pain and finally getting it somewhat under control, i can understand that. Perhaps they're lonely. Perhaps they're angry at a particular person or even at the world which they perceive has not been kind to them. So in those instances, for our own selves, my thought process on that is always to write that grateful list before you go to bed, or at least three things you're grateful for. I think that can keep you out of falling into the world that has done me. wrong Song Sounds like a country song. Anyways, that's a great habit to have.
Speaker 1:Personally, i try to write down three things for that day that I'm grateful for. It could just be the doorman joking with me and having a good time, or whatever it is. It doesn't have to be anything great. I'm grateful for the flowers here in Chicago and what they do in the summertime here downtown, little things like that. Just remember to be grateful for the small things.
Speaker 1:So when we think about past seniors in our lives, as when we were kids, teenagers, think about the things you didn't like about them and, personally, just don't do them. But we'll get a little bit more into detail about that. But I remember we moved into our neighborhood in Cotto de Cosa when the kids were young And on one side we had elderly people and on the other but they were like the youngest old people, they were great And you know what. They love the sound of my kids playing and I'm so grateful for that because our homes were close, zero lot lines, close, great views. But you know they loved listening to the kids play and I'm so grateful for that. And I became close with both of the neighbors.
Speaker 1:Crazy funny Jeff on one side was 90 years old, still driving, still playing tennis. I remember when he was in the hospital and his wife came over and knocked on my door. She says Jeff's in the hospital, do you think you could come over and open a bottle of wine for me? Well, as y'all know, i've been sober a very long time but I do know how to open a bottle of wine. So I went over and I opened a bottle of wine. She goes do you mind if you open two? and it just cracked me up. And then my other neighbors came over and knocked on the door Do you have a ladder? And I'm like well, what do you need a ladder for? Well, we locked ourselves out of the house Now. They had been off drinking somewhere all day. We had pergolas and they climbed up on the pergola and I'm back there just freaking out to get into their bedroom upstairs. But these were the type of old people I lived around and I thought this is the type of old people I want to be.
Speaker 1:Think about your place of worship or where you go. There's a couple of elderly ladies they have passed away in my church in California but I thought I want to be just like them. I want to be like them and there are other older women in the church and I thought I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be like that. I don't want everything that comes out of my mouth to be negative. I want to lead in the world with positivity and that's what I try to do. So think about the people that have been in your life, memories of past senior neighbors.
Speaker 1:Have you ever looked back at the old photos? God, those women look so miserable and they probably were. I don't think it was just photos. First of all, i know photos took a long time to take They weren't as quick as they are now but they just look so miserable. And even when they were young they look so old. And I think anger and negativity ages you faster than anything. You could do all the Botox in the world. You can do everything. You can do a facelift, but if you're angry and you're negative, you're still going to look old. I'm just telling you. That Doesn't mean I'm positive all the time, but it means I try.
Speaker 1:So with all of that in mind, i came up with a list of things that made someone grumpy and vowed not to do those things. I took a look at the optimistic, vibrant people that I know and I made a list of positive attributes. They demonstrate Grumpiness is not an automatic condition of aging. Fyi, listen to that. Grumpiness is not an automatic condition of aging. You can determine the kind of person you want to be by the actions that you take. So here's a list of actions that you can do to not become a grumpy old woman or man.
Speaker 1:I'm going to tell you, man Craig has the worst resting bitch face of anyone. I know. I love Craig, but that face sometimes, i'm telling you, it just rests into the grumpiest old man, but he's not. Well, he can be, but he's not. And he's funny and he's fun And when the great nieces and nephews were here they had a great time with him. They totally get him, they totally understand him. But sometimes we're just sitting somewhere and I'm like take that pus off your face.
Speaker 1:So let's think about the things that we can control. The first thing is be patient with children And I am telling you I find myself falling into this category. There is a scream that kids do now that just gets under my skin And that's a hard one for me. But yes, children are loud, They're messy, but they also bring energy, creativity and loving to the world. Think about yourself as a child.
Speaker 1:Do you remember adults who treated you well? How did that make you feel? And do that for other children? I remember in our neighborhood there was a grumpy old lady across the street. She was across the street in two doors down. They had no children and her husband was a salesman of some sort and he sold Mr Sketch markers and he used to give us kids markers and I just loved them and they smelled good and we need get new markers in. He'd call us over and he'd show us. But his wife hated us kids. But I remember him funny enough, just remember him in my life. I remember Chet Jensen. He was the senior um guy at church usher, senior usher and I always got thrown out of church by my parents because they said I was hyperactive. But Chet would sit outside on the brick wall and talk to me. He always made me feel good. He didn't make me feel different.
Speaker 1:The next thing is don't fear teenagers. They are scary, though honestly, you may not understand the way teenagers dress or the video games or the music they listen to, and you don't have to Just remember that their hip hop is your rock and roll, which was equally scandalous at one point. So think about that, you know, just think about that. Teenagers are searching to find their identity. It's what they do. We search to find our identity as teens. It is their job to break away from their parents and forge new paths, just as you and I did. So don't fear teenagers. Talk to them. They'll talk back. Sometimes they won't, i don't know. Earbuds these days make it hard to talk to people, but talk anyway. That's what I do. I'm in an elevator full of young people in my building. This building is right near a lot of the universities, a lot of the young people working at the hospital. They're real doctors. They look so young, but I talked to them, whether they have headphones in or not. I talk to everyone.
Speaker 1:Be open to technology and, as you all know, i do a podcast. So obviously technology does not scare me, but it shouldn't scare you either. Technology has many benefits for aging adults And I'll tell you Craig just got hearing aids and his hearing aids are run by an app on his phone. So you can't fear technology, because technology is the thing that's going to keep you young and help you. Take classes. Kyle works for the senior center in Irvine. She teaches classes on technology. She teaches classes on apps. Look around where you live, Find classes. Take those classes. Don't be afraid. You can take them right on your computer. If you've never looked at anything, look at Skillsharecom. Costs like a hundred bucks a year. You can learn everything on Skillshare. It's people teaching skills that they know, and it's great. How do you think I learned to do this? podcast Skillsharecom.
Speaker 1:So remember technology, cell phones, tablets, computers have brought us closer to far flung family members. Let the young people in your life teach you to use Facebook or Skype, if you haven't already. Facebook, skype, dropbox, google Drive can allow you to see family photos. Home security system and personal monitoring devices enhance your safety. Remember that your grandparents were fearful of automobiles, planes or even telephones, and look where we are now.
Speaker 1:So don't be fearful. Fearing is one of being fearful, and being a scaredy cat is so aging. Don't be a scaredy cat. Just don't Let go of grudges. This is hard. Some, understandably, someone has probably harmed you in some way. And holding on to anger, what did I talk about? Anger makes you old, anger makes you angry. Anger makes those resting bitch faces that we have as we age.
Speaker 1:I look in the mirror sometimes I'm like okay, face up, smile. You know, automatically gravity takes over our face, pulls it down. We have to fight that and pull it back up. Smile at people. Look graciously. It's easy to do. Be generous. When you think about it, generosity is not as much about the other person as it is about you. Give your time, your baked goods, your tulips. If you see a child picking a flower in your garden, don't get mad at them. Tell them what kind of flower it is. Watch the joy in their face. They're not doing it maliciously. You know, my dad used to think us kids did everything maliciously And I think I had a little bit in that, me as a parent too, and it's something I wish I had changed. But kids aren't being malicious. They're not naturally malicious. So be generous. Living from a place of gratitude enhances our well-being.
Speaker 1:Live in the light, get outside and enjoy the natural light. Open up your shades and let the sun shine in. We have shades and I rarely put them down and I live like in a fishbowl and I don't care. Leave them up, let the sun shine in. Lighten those around you with a smile. Every time I get on the elevator here, i come in or I see my doorman. I love the doorman here. They are hysterical and talk about their own little world of drama. They crack me up. Wear bright colors. You know it's so funny Going to church. I notice that people here in Chicago get into dark colors in the winter, which I get. But man, springtime came, i was wearing my hot pink. I'm wearing my bright colors and everybody's still in these dark colors, but I notice the bright colors coming out. So you never know, i don't know if they would have anyway, but I just wear my bright old colors to our early service.
Speaker 1:Engage in activities that you enjoy. Our hobbies often make us happy. This is the time of life when you can embrace your interests, throw yourself into activities. Okay, riding this e-bike was scary, especially through the streets of Chicago, but you know what? I just do it, and my attitude these days is just do it. Went up to the top of the Sears Tower. I was scared to ride the elevator because the last time, 30 years ago, when I went on it, it took five minutes but I got on it and I thought I can do this. It's now a minute and a half. Silly me Stood on the glass boxes, couldn't see anything because we were in a cloud, but didn't care. I am trying to do things that I am fearful of and just putting myself out there and doing it. It's not easy, but I think it's good for us.
Speaker 1:Stop complaining about your health. I certainly don't complain about my health. I just am honest about my health. Everybody knows I've got health issues. I could complain for days. I don't. Every time I've had surgery, every time I've had anything done, i try to look positive, i try to move positive. You can do it, i've done it. I'm not going to lie. That's the thing I'm good at. That is the thing I'm good at. I go through hard times, physically and health-wise, and I look at the positive and I keep moving. Because what is the alternative? to become negative and yucky, and I don't want that. Be social. Go out with friends, do things. Invite people over for coffee or dinner, go to events. Isolation has a negative impact on your health, especially your state of mind. So don't be just, don't be non-social. Get out there and do things. I've moved here. It's been hard, but I keep pushing. I keep pushing myself out and occasionally, when I have to withdraw, i do. I gather myself up and I go back out.
Speaker 1:I want you to think about the impression you're putting out there in the world. I want you to think of what you bring to this world. What good does it to grow old if you're not adding something positive to this world? As we grow old, we are wiser. Be kind, be joyful. Allow yourself to have a grumpy day, but when you have that grumpy day, stay away from people. That's what I try to do. Think about what you would add to this list. What are the traits you see in people who are aging positively? Emulate those. How do you keep from being grumpy yourself? If you have any anti-grumpiness ideas, i'd love to hear about them. You can email me at agingfast1, the number one at gmailcom.
Speaker 1:If you have ideas for my next episodes, please let me know. I've got quite a few interviews coming up with some of our favorites. Those will be coming up. If you want to look at any information, go to my website, wwwaging8forsissy'spodcastcom. Go on my website. You can get all of my episodes there.
Speaker 1:Remember, you can find these episodes and you can subscribe A lot of you. I send an email out. If you want to be on my email list. Let me know If you excuse me. I still have those hiccups, you guys. I've had them for a whole week. They kind of come and go. Anyways, if you subscribe like if you're on Spotify or if you're on Apple Podcasts anywhere you're getting these Google podcasts you can subscribe and it'll download the newest episode. We're in a little hurry to get this episode out today because it's already 725. I'm not going to do a senior moment today because I want to get this finished, edited and uploaded so you can have it for the week. Remember to keep a smile on your face. Try not to have that resting bitch face It is easy to fall into. Our face is actually being drawn down by gravity. Try to fight that gravity. Suck that face up. Be happy and remember what I always tell you AJ and A Prasise.
