Aging ain't for Sissies
Aging isn't easy. My name is Marcy Backhus and I am your host! Make sure your complete well-being is handled with a community and information that can make it easier and FUN. Aging needs humor, which you can find in the "Aging ain't for Sissies" Podcast, along with informational guests that give us the information we need.
Aging ain't for Sissies
Wisdom for Those Who've Made It This Far
What if I told you that at 64, the best financial advice isn't about saving more money, but actually spending it? Join me as we explore a viral wisdom list that's packed with uncomfortable truths about aging, money, and letting go of the need to control everything around us.
We tackle the tough questions that many seniors face: when to stop hoarding pennies like we're preparing for a Viking funeral, how to let our adult children actually be adults, and why peace of mind trumps potentially doomed investments every single time. As someone who's navigated cancer, 37 years of sobriety, and a cross-country move to downtown Chicago, I share personal insights about finding balance between financial security and present-moment joy.
The conversation gets real about relationships too - from spoiling your partner because tomorrow isn't guaranteed, to curating your social circle and releasing people who no longer serve you. We explore staying mentally sharp without running marathons, embracing technology at any age, and discovering that purpose doesn't retire, it just changes shape. Plus, I share why using your good china daily and laughing until you snort might be the best anti-aging strategies you'll ever find. Ready to embrace your sassiest, wisest self? Subscribe for weekly doses of truth, humor, and grace as we navigate this beautiful mess called aging together.
Hello and welcome to Aging A for Sissies. My name is Marci Backus and I am your host. Well, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, no matter what time you're listening. My name is Marci Backus, I am your host. I want to welcome you back to the podcast, where we tell it like it is, laugh at the ridiculous and try to age with a bit of grace and a whole lot of sass. I am your host, marci, and today's episode is a juicy one. We're diving into a viral list of wisdom that I did not write, but, oh honey, I wish I had, because it's loaded with truth, bombs, mic drops and a few things your kids probably don't want to hear you say out loud. But hey, we're past worrying about what they think, aren't we? So first let's catch up on what's going on. So I was thinking about it. Well, first of all, I am videotaping. Today I'm going to start putting up YouTube videos of my podcast, trying to grow the podcast. You are a faithful and wonderful audience, but I want to see if I can grow it. So, again, my name is Marci Backus and since this is my first video, I think I will tell you a little bit about myself and, if you're new here to our aging Aim for Sissies podcast.
Speaker 1:This is who I am. I am 64 years old. I am married to my husband, craig. We've been married for 34 years, 35 this year. We moved from California to downtown Chicago three years ago. We live in a high rise and we're getting little things on the computer, my apologies. We live in a high rise in downtown Chicago, in real downtown. A lot of people say they live in Chicago, but we do, and I have. Well, we have two children. We have our oldest, which is Kyle. Kyle is transgendered, masculine and Kyle is 32 years old 33 in October. Scary, scary, scary. Alec is 30 and he lives in Colorado. Kyle lives in California. So we're a little bit spread out. Craig and I are figuring out what our next steps are in life, and I'll talk about that a little bit. We are trying to decide what the heck we're going to do. Craig's final contract for working is up a year from this November and it leaves a lot of open-ended questions, a lot of things that we can look at.
Speaker 1:I'm sure a lot of you are struggling with things like this too. I mean, we've already downsized from a giant house to a small condo. We've done that we love our life here in Chicago. I think it is our most well-balanced life we've ever had in our entire 34 years and I'm enjoying that part of it. Is this where the story ends, or does the story continue?
Speaker 1:We live in a one bedroom. It was never our intention to live here. We bought this as a um. We bought our place 23 years ago as an investment and when we had the opportunity to come to Chicago we decided to live in it. But we're trying to decide if one bedroom is enough or do we need that extra bedroom? There's times where I think we need the extra bedroom and there's times I don't. But this weekend we're going to start looking in our building.
Speaker 1:I don't want to change buildings. I love my building. I love where I live. It's kind of funny. A building becomes like a neighborhood and you know when you love your neighborhood and you may want a different house, but you want to stay in your neighborhood. That's what we are. We love our neighborhood. We do love the neighborhood. We also love the building.
Speaker 1:So those that's who I am. That is what's going on right now. If you're if you're watching the video, you see me scratching my eye. We have the worst air quality in the entire world right now here in Chicago it is due to the Canadian wildfires, and since I don't know what's going up in Canada, I wish they would keep their smoke up there, but they can't, and, coming from Southern California, I am no stranger to smoke, so we do have smoke. We do have all kinds of things going on here. I'm a cancer survivor recently, so hope it stays that way, and I have been sober for 37 years. So that's who I am, and let's get started episode. Okay, all right.
Speaker 1:Again, we're going to be talking about a list that I did not write but I thought was really good, so we're going to get started here. My first part of the list is this is wisdom. This is just wisdom that somebody wrote down. Use the money. This is not the time to keep hoarding pennies like you're saving up for a Viking funeral. You worked hard, saved smart and skipped the good cheese. Now it's time to treat yourself. Take the trip, buy the shoes, order dessert first. Your son-in-law, with the Texas hard-up idea, will be fine without your nest egg. So let's let's ruminate on that for a moment. Use the money. Yes, we do need to have money to last us, but do enjoy yourself. This is it. This is your swan song. This is the finale. This is the end. This is the last episode.
Speaker 1:The series is ending. There's no more shows. This is it. So use the money. Skip the foolproof investments. If someone says this is a can't miss investment opportunity, you say thanks, I already missed it. Your peace of mind is more valuable than potentially doomed cryptocurrency. Let's not trade late life serenity for stress-induced hives.
Speaker 1:Now, my dad, my dad, was a big investor and he did it all on his own. And I remember my dad saying if somebody comes to you and says they can make you rich, they better be rich first. And that always stuck with me. If someone is telling you what to do with your money and how to make money on your money, they better have money. Think about that. Your kids will survive. You already fed them, clothed them, paid for braces, college therapy and helped them move twice. Ain't that the truth? Ain't that the truth? You've done your part. Let them adult. Now, spending your money on yourself is not selfish. It's called balance, baby and I you know I'm not one to talk. I help my kids. From time to time, I am guilty. I am trying to back myself off from that and I'm trying to back them off and, to be honest, it's my own fault. It is my own fault. So I am working on. My kids will survive, stay healthy without running marathons.
Speaker 1:Nobody's asking you to become a CrossFit queen, but do take a walk, stretch, hydrate and know the names of your medications. We had a whole conversation on this, on Aging for Sissies, a few weeks ago. Go back and look at it Taking control of your health. I'm a big proponent of that. I have some genetic health issues. It forces me to have to keep control of things for myself and I have spread that wisdom onto you a couple episodes back. So go look at that. Um, we're staying active, not auditioning for a pharmaceutical ad Funny enough.
Speaker 1:As you all know, my form of exercise is called hydroscope. It is a high impact, high fast. Um, um, aqua exercise. What's what do we call that? I can't think of it right now. Funny enough. But yeah, yeah, you know, um, you just need to work out, you need to stay active and since I have for the last two and a half years going on three years now I have never been better in some ways. Obviously, you all know I've gone through breast cancer. Those are things that exercise has nothing to do with.
Speaker 1:But stay healthy without running marathons, that's all I can tell you. You don't have to run a marathon. You don't have to be a CrossFit queen. You don't have to lift a ton of weights. If you do, that is all awesome and that's great.
Speaker 1:But if you're sitting on that couch, get off it and move. All you got to do is move. Spoil your partner. Get the massage oil, light the candle. This ain't working for me. Buy the good wine I don't drink. One day, one of you will be gone and you'll miss that wrinkled face across the table. Spend your time and your money on each other now. Spoiling each other is the new sexy.
Speaker 1:Well, craig has already spoiled me in a sense that I've never had to worry about a lot of things. I've worried about a lot of things I didn't have to. I have a good life, we have a good life. We have a good life. We travel. Oh, one of the things I said earlier on is Craig and I have the most balanced life we've ever had living here in Chicago. We don't have the big house, we have one car, we walk, we take public transportation here, um, we go downstairs and play backgammon in the evenings on our big deck. We go downstairs and play backgammon in the evenings on our big deck. We spend more time together, but not too much, which is really good. Tonight we're going to a concert up at Ravinia, which is a concert venue for the. It is the summer home of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. That's how we spoil each other.
Speaker 1:It's not about massages and oil and all the things that this thing says, and maybe that works for you, but for us, it's being active, being a part of each other's lives. Traveling has always been our big thing. We are heading to Ireland in October. Ireland in October. Stop sweating the small stuff. Okay, you've survived bad care, cuts, broken hips and children learning to drive. Well, we haven't done broken hips, but cancer. One thing the fact that the waiter forgot your salad dressing is not a crisis. Smile, laugh, send it back if you must, but don't send your blood pressure with it. Funny enough, as you all know, I have another podcast called Inside Marcy's Mind. I'm going to be talking about how rude and dismissive people are these days and how it can raise your blood pressure, and in this it's telling us not to sweat the small stuff and I think that's really important.
Speaker 1:Love out loud, love your friends, love your dog, love your barista. Life is short. Hug more, kiss often. Text in emojis and, yes, flirt a little. The sparkle never goes out, it just gets sassier. That's some good advice, right there. Stay sharp and fabulous. Sassier, that's some good advice, right there. Stay sharp and fabulous. Yes, you should get the mani-pedi. Oh, always get the mani-pedi.
Speaker 1:You know what looks good on you. Wear the sparkles, rock the scarf, add a pop of color and just skip the Crocs, unless they're bedazzled. Wear your clothes. Use the good china. We use our good china. Use our good china. I had put away. Craig's parents had gifted us the first choose place settings the first four christmases. We were married to frank lloyd. Right bone china. It is beautiful when we moved here. We use it every day and, yes, I put it in the dishwasher. Well, not right now, because our dishwasher is broken, but nonetheless they're coming out for the third time to try to fix it. Keep your style updated. Fashion doesn't expire. You know what looks good on you, so just keep it up.
Speaker 1:Stay connected. Know how to check your email, google stuff and maybe even TikTok. Shocking, I know, but staying current keeps the brain spry. Besides gossip, it is so much more fun when you've got context. Know things, learn things. Don't stop. Respect the youngins. They're not you, and that's okay. The world is theirs now, and while you may not understand their music or fashion choices, remember our parents didn't understand ours either. You can respect their hustle, offer advice, but only if they ask otherwise. Nod and smile. It is a different world. People yes, the internet is a job. Yes, it is working from home. Yes, the internet is a job. Yes, it is Working from home. Yes, it is a job, and people can work and be productive from home.
Speaker 1:I did it during COVID, when I worked for the city of Irvine. Yes, you can. Your time is now. We don't say back in the day around here. Your day is now. You're living it, embrace it, dance in your kitchen, make a new friend, start a podcast. Oh wait, I already did that. Not only did I do it once, I've done it twice. Just so you know, I edit my own podcast. I do everything myself. I am 64 years old. I taught myself how to do this. You can too. Just don't take my audience. If there's something you want to say, make a podcast. Honestly, I love my podcast. I love it. I love it. I love it.
Speaker 1:Choose cheerful company. You know what. Surround yourself with people you like and the people that you don't get them out of your life. Let them go, move on. They probably don't like you either. So it's a tit for tat here. But don't keep people in your life that don't serve you and you don't serve them. Remember, friendship is a two-way street, so keep your own space.
Speaker 1:If you don't have to live with your kids, don't. You deserve privacy. They deserve boundaries. Besides the microwave fish, you don't need that in your home. I disagree with this one to a point. If you don't need your kids living with you, don't have it. Or if you don't need to live with them, don't. But if it works for you as a family, there's nothing wrong with it. Honestly, all other cultures have multi-generations in a household. It's wonderful for the grandchildren to have grandparents nearby.
Speaker 1:I disagree. I think multi-generational households are great. It doesn't work for everyone. It doesn't work for everyone. Hobby it up, crochet, kayak, salsa, dance, collect, spins. I don't care. Just do something that makes your eyes light up.
Speaker 1:Purpose doesn't retire it, just changes shape. Remember that purpose, your purpose, and that's another podcast that I did a few podcasts ago about our purpose. Our purpose is important. It changes, it doesn't end. Leave the house, get the hell out, go to Trader Joe's, go to Ulta, buy some lip liner. Like, do something, don't just sit around. And sometimes I have to kick myself out of my own condo, especially in the winter. Yes, I go to the gym five days a week, but sometimes I come home and I just want to crawl back in bed. Some days I do, it's no big deal, Other days it's not appropriate and it's not okay.
Speaker 1:Be nice, manners still matter, so does kindness. We do get a little mouthy as we get older. We get a little sassy, we put up with less and sometimes we're a little crotchety. But be nice, you catch more flies with honey. It is a fact.
Speaker 1:Accept the aches yes, things creak. Yes, it takes a forklift to get out of bed. This is called experience. Don't complain, not too much, just know you're still lucky to be here. Creaking, yes, that's a fact. But if you stretch, if you go to the gym, if you get moving, like a lot of these things we're talking about, guess what? Your aches and pains are less. Are they still there? Absolutely, had a shoulder issue really bad, rehabbed it myself so good that when I went to my shoulder doctor he said I did such a good job, I don't need my cortisone shot. I don't want more drugs in me and I want to save my cortisone shot for when I really need it. But you know what was great? I figured out I could rehab my shoulder on my own.
Speaker 1:Forgive already Holding grudges, good Lord, this will age you faster than time. Holding a grudge is exhausting. Let it go Seriously. You'll sleep better. You'll have more mental space for important things, like remembering where you put your readers, like holding onto a grudge, holding onto crap, is not good for you. It's not good for your health. It will age you Laugh, damn it. Laugh until you snort.
Speaker 1:Life is too weird not to laugh at it. Oh my God, it is so weird. There are so many things Craig and I usually do Friday. We're not going to do Friday McDonald's lunch today because it's free fried Friday. So we normally go to McDonald's for free fried Friday. But I do have a hematologist appointment today. But we laugh at all kinds of crap. That McDonald's is hysterical. I also call it the murder McDonald's because, even though we live in the Gold Coast. There were nine people shot there just before we moved here. They have bigger security now. I know it's not funny that nine people were shot there, but I nicknamed it the murder McDonald's. And we do go there. But, man, what goes through that McDonald's makes you laugh. Just laugh. We made it this far.
Speaker 1:Don't forget to enjoy it. The wrinkles are just your laugh line, saying job well done. And I've got them. And I've got a crooked face. If you're looking at my video, you can see when I fell on my head in the street a month ago I have damaged nerves. Hopefully they'll come back because I can raise one eyebrow but the other one doesn't move. Anyways, if you're watching me on the video, thank you.
Speaker 1:This is my first video of the podcast. I'm going to try to keep it up. I don't like doing the video because I like to not look good when I'm doing my podcast. But welcome If you're on YouTube and you're watching this. Thank you for putting up with me. If you're just listening to this, listening to my sassy sagas for today, I appreciate it. I hope this list made you laugh, nod and maybe even tear up a bit. Getting older isn't for sissies, but it is for the strong, the smart and the spectacular, just like you and me. Now go out there, shake up some joy and, for heaven's sake, spend the money. I'm Marci and this has been my I don't know what number Aging Aimed for Sissies podcast. I'm glad to have you along. You can find all my podcasts. Wherever you find your podcasts, remember to check out Inside Marci's Mind and go out and do something positive and catch next week's episode of Aging Aimed for Sissies. Thanks again, everyone. Bye.
