Aging ain't for Sissies

We Get Older, Things Get Tricky, And We Find Smarter Ways To Cope

• Marcy Backhus • Season 2 • Episode 22

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The small things got louder: the grunt when we stand, the menu we can’t read, the shoulder that protests a perfectly innocent night of sleep. I wanted to untangle those moments with honesty and humor, then offer tools that actually help. We start with the floor—why getting up turns into a negotiation with nearby furniture—and land on the big culprit: muscle loss. From there, I share a simple plan that works in real life: eat protein first, vegetables next, carbs last, and add two or three short strength sessions a week to rebuild power in your legs and core. Water aerobics stays in the mix, but weights do the heavy lifting for independence.

We also tackle the low-light struggle of menus and medicine labels. Your phone is your ally: the flashlight and magnifier are game changers, and accessibility settings can make text readable without squinting. I talk monovision contacts, the curious crime of “sleeping wrong,” and the pain relief routines that actually move the needle—think consistent topical anti-inflammatories and smarter sleep setup, not miracle cures. Then we wade into tech turbulence: surprise updates, broken printers, and how to keep your sanity with free classes, YouTube, and a willingness to learn the system instead of fighting it.

Underneath it all sits energy management. One appointment can be the day, and that’s not laziness—it’s intelligent pacing. I walk through the mental load of getting out the door in a dense city and how a few strategies lower the stress: pre-planning routes, bathroom strategy, and giving your brain one task at a time. Along the way, I share travel plans, a health update, and a teaser for my new show, Unbottled, where sobriety wisdom meets everyday life skills. Come for the laughs, stay for the practical playbook. If this helps, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a lift, and leave a quick review—what’s the one aging challenge you want us to tackle next?

SPEAKER_00:

Hello, and welcome to Aging Aim for Sissies. My name is Marcy Backis and I am your host. Pretty cold here in Chicago. Again, my name is Marcy Backis, and welcome to Aging Aim for Sissies, the podcast where we tell the truth about aging because nobody properly briefed us. We were warned about wrinkles and gray hair. Nobody warned us about the random daily inconveniences that quietly move in and never leave. So today we're going to talk about things that get harder as we age, not in a sad way, but in a lot in a laugh so we don't cry way. So yeah, we're going to talk about just some of those things that creep up on us. Nobody warned us about. Maybe we knew about, we ignored, I don't know, but we're going to talk about it because what do we do in my podcast? We talk about it all. We mention it all. So we're going to do that today. Um, it is freezing here in Chicago for December. Now, this is normally like our February weather, but we're getting it in December. I'm going to be cutting out of here for six weeks, um, starting in January. I'll talk about that. But right now it's 29 degrees. Um, this weekend it's gonna be negative degrees. I don't know how all that works, but it does. Uh, life goes on though. People go, people shop, people are out. It's Chicagoans as well as people from even further north than us, Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota. These people are built different. I'm doing pretty darn well for a native Californian. I'm very proud of myself. I survive. I walk to the gym when it's cold. If it's super cold or icy, I will drive because I don't want to break a hip. Again, those things that they don't tell about, tell us about what um aging, you know, we're gonna talk about today. Um, I am gonna go, I am cutting out of here. I'm leaving January 11th, coming back January 20th. Uh, driving to the West Coast, have a birthday weekend planned with girlfriends and my sister in Vegas. Gonna go see Wizard of Oz in the sphere. Uh, just uh heading, taking a cruise for a week to Mexico with my bestie Lynn. All kinds of fun things planned, but gonna dip out of here for a little while. And I'll take you on that trip with me because I will be podcasting all the way through. I am currently um really, really honing together. Hopefully, next week I will drop my new podcast. As you all know, I have Inside Marcy's Mind, Aging Name for Sissies, which you are listening to now. And I'm going to marry two things that I enjoy doing, which is podcasting, which I love, and my sobriety, which is in January will be 38 years. And I'm going to create, I am creating, it's in the creative stages right now. I've been working on my logo for um uh unbottled. That will be my new podcast. Unbottled. We're gonna talk about all things sobriety, and I'm looking forward to that. I want to share with you, let's see. New podcast. Podcast cover art. Been working on my podcast cover art, and I'm liking it. It's gonna be unbottled, Marcy Bathkis. Sobriety uncorked, unfiltered, and unapologetically real. So that is my tagline. I've got to I gotta memorize it. I still don't have it totally memorized. Sobriety uncorked, unfiltered, and unapologetically real. So that is going to be a podcast. And you know what? You don't have to be on a sober curious journey or a sobriety journey to listen. Because let me tell you something. All the things that alcoholics deal with and the things we do to stay sober are things that you can do in your life to help manage your life better. So if you're thinking you just need to be on a sober journey, a sober curious journey, whatever it may be to listen, you don't. It's gonna, it's it, and I may let go of Inside Marcy's mind. I just have to see, because Inside Marcy's mind may meld itself beautifully into unbottled. But we'll see. Working on it all, enjoying the process. The process is part of the fun, getting it all together for everyone to listen to. So uh, what else is happening? I'm going in a short bit here to some tests that will let me know if my thyroid or liver have cancer. We're gonna say no. So don't worry about me. I'm gonna be just fine. But next week I'll let you know what they said. These are the second tests. Um, everything was brought to light from from some first tests, and these will be the second tests. Could be nothing, could be something. Don't you just love that? Don't you just love that in your health journey when your whole life could change from a test or it could be nothing. I mean, where else in life is it? Well, I guess there's a lot of places. Ouch. It's all or nothing. So we'll see what that brings us this morning. And I will let you in next week. Other than that, life is going along great. Craig and I have done, we had our anniversary, married 34 years this week. Uh, 34 years. No, Marcy, 35 years. Don't shortchange yourself. We went out to a beautiful dinner to the restaurant where we went on our first date. Yes, we were set up on a blind date here in Chicago when we were both in business 35 years ago. And uh so we go there on our anniversary. It's a great restaurant called Gehas. It is a fondue restaurant, delicious, yummy, so good. What else this week? Oh, we also went to Zoo Lights this week. So much fun. After Zoo Lights, we went to one of our favorite RJ Grunts restaurant. It's been in Chicago since the 70s. A great American tradition. Um, good food, had some chili. It was a cold night out in the 20s, but we did it, enjoyed ourselves. Um, yeah, life is good. Enjoying the holidays. A lot of things coming up next week. We have the walnut room, we have our um pool pals um Christmas luncheon, uh, have a brunch to go to on Saturday, and on Sunday, I am going to the theater with my buddy Joan and out to dinner with Joan and Craig. So a lot of things coming up for the holidays. Loving every minute of it here in the city of Chicago. But what are we gonna talk about today? We're gonna talk about all the things that happen as you age that you may not expect. How we deal with them, what they are. You may have some that don't make my list. I'm sorry. Uh, I'm trying to get into all the things that I can think about, but hang in there, we're gonna jump into that. Ugh. Do you ever make that sound? Ugh, uh, uh when you're getting up. That's one of those things nobody warns us about. All of a sudden, you're making those noises when you're moving or getting up, or something's harder than it used to be. So that's let's talk about getting off the floor. Now, getting up off the floor is no longer automatic, it's a process. There's planning, furniture negotiation, and usually a sound, somewhat into the sound that I made. Now, I'm gonna do some confessions. Um, you know, my podcasts are always about my true stories. I did not take really good care of myself in my 30s, 40s, or 50s. I gained weight, I lost weight. I gained weight, I lost weight. I um didn't go to the gym consistently. I did this, I did that. There were times where I hiked with my dog and I was really good. There were times when I didn't. In the losing and the gaining of the weight, my biggest problem is I never ate protein, lost a lot of muscle mass. So for me, getting off the ground probably got harder starting in my 40s. I'm not gonna lie. Um, so it's been something that has has plagued me for a long time. It may be something that's plaguing you now. Or like a couple of my girlfriends who are older than I am. We were out of chairs, they sat on the ground and got up beautifully. I impressed me immensely. I am doing my um water aerobics uh four to five days a week. My goal is five. Sometimes appointments don't let me make that. But um I am needing to add in weight training. So getting up off the floor, if it's gotten harder for you, we know that the problem is muscle mass. Muscle mass leaves us as we age, anyways. And if you're doing nothing to keep it, it's gonna cause you a lot more problems. So there's a couple of things you can do. Eat more protein, which is something I'm in the negotiations of doing. Um, your yogurt, your chicken, um, those shakes. What I don't care which ones you like from Costco, the shakes are good, high in protein, anywhere from 30 grams and up for a small little protein shake. And I love them, they're delicious. I I have no problem with them. Um, but getting that protein in. Eat your protein first. I just was talking with a doctor this morning. Eat your protein first, your vegetables next. I love vegetables, and then your carbs. Don't cut out your carbs, just put them in last, and you may not eat as many. And that is some words of wisdom that I needed this morning. Hope they help you. But if you are having trouble and struggling getting off the floor, fix it. Eat more protein and do some weights. So um, Craig's doctor, Craig, uh, I work out, Craig works out, he runs um six miles a day during the week, five days a week, and he's having trouble keeping muscle mass. So the doctor said to start lifting weights. So in January, I start Medicare, which gives me access to silver sneakers. Yes, I already have a gym. Yes, we have a gym in the building, but Craig wants to go to the gym to lift weights. Why he doesn't want to do it here in the building, I don't know. Maybe I can start talking him into it. Um, but we have free access to a couple of gyms here. Of course, not my fancy, schmancy gym, but other gyms. And our goal is to start working out together after dinner in the weight category. While I am on my six-week sojourn from here, I'm not going to have access to a pool all the time, but I will have an access to Planet Fitness everywhere I go. So I will be working out and beginning that weight training portion of what I need to do. I already have, you know, there is some muscle mass build up in the pool. There is definitely a lot of cardio, but I need a little bit more to get those quads really built up. And so my goal is by the summer to be able to get up off the floor with very little issue. So if getting up off the floor is something that has hit you in your aging process and you have not um done anything about it or you didn't know what to do, that's the plan. Let's get up in July, 4th of July. I can sit at the barbecue on the ground and hop myself up. That's my goal. Um, so there that's number one. Getting up off the floor. Okay, number two. They may not have warned you, you may not have known about this, you may already have been dealing with it, but uh reading anything in low light. Low light, low light is horrible for reading. Now I am I'm a cheater. Not gonna lie, cheater, cheater, reader, not needer. I don't need readers. Not because I don't need them, but because probably 15 years ago, my eye doctor did me monovision. I've worn contacts since I was 13. He gave me monovision contacts. So what that means is one of my eyes is for distance, one of them is for close-up. Together they balance out beautifully. I can read things close and I can see a distance. This works for some people, doesn't work for everyone. Happened to work beautifully for me. So I am a cheater cheater, reader, not needer. Um, but you may need readers, um, but low light is still hard. Um let's talk about that. So reading anything, menus, medicine bottles, text messages. Why is everything gray on gray? Restaurants feel like caves. So low lights can make reading extra hard. Use that flashlight that you have on your phone. But I'm also going to tell you something in your accessories on your phone, you also have a magnifier. I say use the magnifier. Now, interestingly enough, at my CVS, in the medicine bottle aisles, where mainly where the Tylenol and Pain and arthritis relief stuff is, they have one of those reading magnifiers hanging on a chain. So people can read. I love that. I think that is genius, and every store should have that because reading things and reading directions and stuff like that is hard. But your phone does have that. So I want to let you know that your phone can do a lot of things for you in this aging process. It can read things to you, it can magnify things for you, it can give you light on things. Research it, use it, watch video YouTube videos. You know what I tell you all the time. YouTube is your friend. If you're not made friends with YouTube, shame on you. Because it's going to give you a lot of access to things. It's going to teach you how to use those all kinds of things on your phone. All kinds of things. I have my phone set so if I double tap the back of it, it gives me a screenshot. Super easy, super thick, easy thing to use. I have some crunchy hands. I have some issues with my hands. Um, there's ways to make it easier. But if reading anything in low light, and also if you are a contact wearer, talk to your doctor about mono vision. If you didn't know about it, you do now. If you're reading glasses, you know how to use your readers, but low light is not going to change. Use your um flashlight. Okay? So that's another thing that's creeped out. Okay, here's the here's one. Sleeping wrong. When you're young, you don't know there's a way to sleep that's right and a way that sleep that's wrong. But you know what happens? Some nights you wake up, you go to bed fine, and you wake up injured. Sleeping confidently is apparently a crime. Like, good God, you go to bed, you feel great. You wake up with cranks, crunches, things you never knew. I'm gonna tell you what my secret is Volterin gel. You buy it at the store. Now, I used to get it prescribed to me from a shoulder doctor, but Volterran gel, you're gonna see commercials for it. You can buy it much cheaper at Costco. Use it. This stuff is I I'm not allowed to take ibuprofen, motrin, any of the things that are muscle relaxant type things I can only take Tylenol. So I can't take any of this. But this is the best stuff. It's a gel that you use on top of your skin. Don't use it just once. You're allowed to use it up to four times a day. If you've got a really bad crank, a really bad crunch, a really bad, I don't know, knee, shoulder. Right now, when I get off this, I didn't use it this morning on my shoulder. My shoulder's bugging me again. So I'm gonna slap it on there four times a day. You will never know the muscle ever hurt. Use it four times a day. I'm gonna repeat that four times a day. Don't slap it on once and say, Marcy, it didn't do anything. You need to apply it four times a day, and it's going to be your miracle worker. So that's Volterran gel. Am I getting paid? Absolutely not. Should I be paid? Absolutely. But if you wake up and you are hurting, or if you bend over to change the trash bag, or if you do anything that's normal and your body rebels against you, this gel is your answer. And like I say, I used to get it prescribed. They don't prescribe it anymore because you can buy it over the counter. So just know that. Oh, I'm like, what is that dinging? My dishwasher's finished. Because it didn't run last night because Craig leaned against it and turned it off when he was making his coffee. Not Craig's fault, a very big flaw in dishwashers. Damn, touch screens when they're on the front. I'm telling you, don't buy one. Get it in that, get it in the door on the top. Anyways, um, enough of my problems. On to what more problems do we have when we're aging? Technology updates. Now, I'm going to say that this is not a problem for me. I do love technology. Obviously, I do a podcast, I edit it, and I get it out on all the airwaves all by myself. So, therefore, technology is not my problem, but things can happen. Those damn pesky updates. Now, phone updates without permission, icons move, passwords multiply. Okay, here's the update that I hated. On my printer, I was using um second grade ink, cheap ink from Amazon. Did the update on my Amazon, on my excuse me, on my Epson, it no longer will allow me to use it, does not recognize cartridge, does not recognize cartridge. So I am now destined for the rest of my life to have to buy real ink from Epson that is 10 times more expensive. Talk about the most irritating update of my life, and you can't back out of it. You can't back it out, you can't go backwards, you can't reset it, you can't anything. And so now I am destined to have to buy frickin' expensive ink. But to be honest, none of us grew up with technology. So if technology is giving you troubles, do you know I've done a million podcasts on technology. Go to your Apple store. I don't know if you're Android. Sorry, I can't help you if you're an Android user. If you're green, I'm pink. I'm sorry if you don't get that reference. It is a wicked reference. But if you're green, I'm not. And I don't know how to fix it. I don't know what store to send you to. But if you are an Apple user, go to your Apple store. Use those genius bars, use those people wandering around, sign up for their free classes, go online. They have free classes on iPhones. Use them, learn, educate yourself. Don't be that old person, I don't know how to do it. That's Craig. And I hate it. Then he asks me, I teach him, and does he retain any of it? No, because the next time he has a problem, he can go, I don't know what to do. Hate it. Learn, educate yourself. There's people out there willing to help you. If you have the financial money, hire someone to come in. Hire a college student, hire someone to help you with your technology. Technology is not hard, it's just different. You just need to learn how it speaks and uh get on that. Um, let's see. Let's talk about what else we can talk about here. All right. Energy is a finite resource. Yes, it is. When you're young, energy is not finite. As you age, it is. We operate on an energy budget now. One appointment can be the whole day. This is wisdom, not laziness, people. Yes, I can do one thing a day. If I have to do two things a day, it's it bugs me, but I do it anyway. But if you're like me and you've got one appointment, like today, I have appointments, I feel like that should be my day. But I do have an AA meeting to go to, I have podcasts to do. I am right now bleaching my hair while we talk, doing laundry at the same time. So yeah, yeah, but we do. We do have a finite amount of energy, so we use it wisely. We are not lazy. Okay. We use our energy wisely. We are not lazy. Repeat that to yourself. Use your energy wisely. You are not lazy. All right, the mental load of going places. No one warned me about this. Now, I am a goer, as you all know. I am a doer. But even me, even I, the great traveler, the do-it-don't be afraid of new things person, I have noticed the mental load that things take on me. Even though Craig and I are seasoned travelers, we've traveled our whole adult life. Traveling takes a mental toll on me that it didn't used to. I have to prepare more. I have to mentally slow myself down, focus, do one thing at a time. The mental load of going places is bigger. I have to think about my parking, I have to plan, I have to have a bathroom strategy. Leaving my house, I will tell you. So I live in a high-rise. So number one, I have to take an elevator down to the P level. From P level, I go to a door, I walk down a set, one set of stairs because I'm on the top parking garage level. I have to get in my car, I have to think about the buttons that I push in my car. I then have to drive down nine levels of parking. That's around and around. So I have to make sure that are people pulling out? Are people driving up? Is there room? Blah, blah, blah. Is there ice? Is there snow? What's in the parking structure? And I get down to the bottom level. And then I have to look and make sure I have no pedestrians that are going, I'm going to run over as I drive out of my parking structure. That is a hell of a lot more things to think about than backing out of your driveway in the suburbs. Then I drive in one of the busiest cities in the world. I live in the heart of downtown Chicago. My driving does not go without thinking. And today I know I've already thought about my path, where I'm going, what I'm doing to get to this medical appointment, which way I'm going. It all matters. So we do have to think about things a lot. We have to have strategies. And you know what? That's okay. Recognize it, do it, life goes better. And did I just exhaust you driving my car out of my parking spot? Because I exhausted myself. It is nothing, nothing like the suburbs walking into your garage, getting in your car, and going. I have to think about a lot more things when I leave than you do. But you know how I look at it? Keeping myself sharp. The more I have to think about, the more sharp I stay. All right. Let's wrap this up. I've given you a lot. Next week, we're going to talk about all the joys of aging. So I know this week felt a little negative. It's not. All I'm doing is pointing out the things that are happening to us and some strategies on how to survive it. We can't change it, but we can make it better. So if you're nodding along, it's not just you. We're all out here doing it. Aging Aim for Sissies. That's the name of the podcast. And it's the truth. But humor helps. I want to remind you that laugh when you can. If you got up off the floor today, I am extremely proud of you. I am also proud of my ladies. If you don't know this, I know the ones of you that can get in the pool without the ladder. I am envious. I love that. And hopefully by summer I might be able to do that. That is a goal for me. But you're out there. I see you. I want you to know that. I'm impressed. I want you to go out and do something positive and have a great day.

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Marcy Backhus

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