Aging ain't for Sissies
Aging isn't easy. My name is Marcy Backhus and I am your host! Make sure your complete well-being is handled with a community and information that can make it easier and FUN. Aging needs humor, which you can find in the "Aging ain't for Sissies" Podcast, along with informational guests that give us the information we need.
Aging ain't for Sissies
From Resolutions To Intentions: A Kinder Way To Grow
Resolutions feel like a trap when life is already full. This conversation offers a gentler, braver path: set intentions that match your energy, honor your season, and still move you forward. Fresh off a joyful, busy holiday and looking ahead to a milestone 65th birthday, we talk candidly about aging, boundaries, and what it means to spend time like the precious resource it is.
We lay out five grounded intentions you can adopt today: listen to your body and move in ways that feel good; protect your energy with clear boundaries and fewer draining commitments; stay curious by learning new tools and trying small challenges; nurture relationships with honesty and care; and enjoy life now rather than waiting for perfect conditions. Along the way, you’ll hear real stories—from water aerobics wins to city walks in Chicago, from crossing suspension bridges to taking the train despite fears—that show how tiny, brave choices add up.
You’ll also get a peek behind the mic: launching a third show, Unbottled, focused on sobriety and everyday habits; building Marcy Bacchus Media; and how podcasting provides purpose beyond sponsors. We talk about solo travel plans out West, turning intentions into monthly check-ins, and practicing self-kindness around weight changes tied to cancer medication. No rigid rules, no shame spiral—just practical ways to choose what matters and celebrate progress.
If you’re ready to trade all-or-nothing goals for a way of living that lasts, press play and pick one intention to guide your year. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a gentler start, and leave a review to help more listeners find the show.
Hello and welcome to AGNA for Sissies. My name is Marcy Backis, and I am your host. Well, this is December 26th that I am recording this, so it is the day after Christmas. And what a busy Christmas season I had. I have not one complaint. I have had luncheons and lunches and brunches and concerts and you name it, I've had it. A rededication of a temple. It has been just a dinner with friends. I can't tell you it has been a wonderful season. And I am soaking in every minute of it because you know what? Time is limited and time is short. And after a year, a medical year that I've had, good God, I deserved a happy holiday season. They aren't always like that. And yours may not be, and I get that. And mine haven't always been. Was it perfect? No, my kids aren't here. They're celebrating on their own. That's what life is. We raise them up, we send them out. If you get them back for a holiday or two, I had Alec for Thanksgiving. I'm grateful. I'll visit Kyle in California in January. You know, we do our best. And I am living my best life now, and that is my intentions. And speaking of intentions, that is exactly what we're going to talk about in the body of our podcast today. Every year I do a podcast on don't make resolutions set intentions. So we're gonna we're gonna brush up on that in case you forgot from last year and talk about what that means and how to do that. Um what else is going on? It has been an extraordinarily warm um December here in well, not a December. We had some really zero days already. We had tons of 15 inches of snow in the city, which is a lot for December. And uh it's all gone now. It's warm, which is 40 degrees. We were up to 50, so I didn't even need a puffer coat for Christmas Eve. I just wore my fall coat, my beautiful wool coat. So it's been a little crazy here. Craig and I did our annual walk up Michigan Drive last night, but it excuse me, I got a hiccup there. It normally is not crowded, and it was crowded because it's so warm out. So it wasn't our usual leisurely stroll that was kind of quiet. It was busy and hectic, but everybody was out enjoying this. If you've never been to Chicago, I can't tell you what a beautiful city this is. It is just stunning. And at the holiday time, there's no more beautiful place. They make sure they do it upright. Every building has a tree, all the trees are lit. If you've seen my Instagram, um, you know. So I have some exciting things happening at the new year. First of all, I have spoken to you about which which I will be doing um remote podcasts on my six-week trip um out to the west. I'll be driving by myself. That seems to bother a lot of people. It doesn't bother me, and then I got a little bothered why I'm not bothered. But uh I'll be fine. I will be fine. I'm not driving at night. Weather looks good. It'll be fine. I've driven back and forth. One time I drove out to Arizona with my sister-in-law, and then I went on to California from there, and I drove back all the way from California by myself. I drove with my cats here when we moved here all by myself. So I am heading to Vegas to celebrate my 65th birthday with friends and my sister as well. And uh, we're gonna go see Wizard of Oz in the sphere, and I don't know. We got a few things planned, so it ought to be some fun. Everybody's flying in. We're all staying at my friend Annette's house. I've probably said this at nauseum, but that's what's coming up for me. So uh I got a couple weeks before I leave, and I've been doing a lot of planning. It's very excited about that. I also have something exciting. I am going to be recording, as I've talked about, my third podcast. So I have now started Marcy Bacchus Media as my company that will house all of my podcasts. So I will be getting rid of the um websites that I have now. I'm gonna combine them down into a Marcy's Marcy Media, Marcy Bacchus Media, excuse me, um, website, and it will house all of my podcasts. Will I continue all three of them forever? I don't know. But right now I will. And the third one, as we know, is called Unbottled. Um January 1st, three episodes will drop, and that'll start that podcast, all things sobriety. But I want you to understand, even if you don't have a drinking problem, if you have uh you eat too much sweets or you like to shop, or if you have any sort of habit that is a little out of control, listening to this podcast is going to help you with all aspects of your life. Let me tell you something. The things that you learn in AA and the things you learn through sobriety, which on January 11th, I'll have 38 years, are things that everybody can incorporate into their life. So is this a podcast for drunks? Yes. Is it a podcast for everyone? Yes. Is it a podcast for a meth addict? I don't know. But if they want to listen, I am happy to have them listen because any way that that podcast can help anybody, I am grateful for. And what you don't know is doing these podcasts helps me. Ha. So right now I have quite a large listenership, but it's not large enough to get sponsors. So hopefully, somewhere around in all of this, one of these podcasts, I can get my listenership up enough that I can start to make money. But I don't make money, so why do I do it? Well, I do it because it helps me. It gives me purpose, it gives me something to do in my retirement. It makes me feel productive. And from what I hear from my listeners, it helps you and you enjoy it. So it's a win-win for everyone. All right, well, we're gonna take a quick break. I'll be right back and we're gonna talk about our intentions for 2026. Can you believe that? All right, our jazzy in between segments. Um, why intentions matter more now? So I've obviously I'm obviously going to be talking about this inside Marcy's mind, but they're going to be two separate episodes. One of the reasons is because this is aging a for sissy. So we talk a little bit about aging. We talk a lot about aging. Why intentions matter more now? And there's reasons for it as you age. Our tolerance for nonsense is lower. Our energy is precious. Intentions help us spend it wisely. Let me repeat that so you hear it clearly. Our tolerance for nonsense is lower. Amen, Sista. Our energy is precious. Intentions help us spend it wisely. I don't have time for bullshit anymore. That's really what it what I just said in a very fancy way is BS, I'm done. And I really am. I don't have time for it with my kids. I don't have time for it with my husband. I don't have time for it. I don't have any friendships that give me BS. So I've cleared that house a long time ago, but I'm not putting up with it anymore. Um, and everybody is very clear and well aware of that. Um, especially Craig recently. I I've had to shake that up a few times. And and my trip to California is also a six weeks' uh rest from Craig and I. Uh, we have we have morphed into doing way too much together. Yes, I have a separate life, my gym, my girlfriends, but man, every time I turn around, he wants to do something. Like if I'm going to start, I'll go with you. You know, like there's a little bit of that, and I need a little break. But my tolerance for bullshit in all things, family, all kinds of crap is less. I'm not putting up with it anymore. You're probably not either. You have to do things kindly. You have to, you know, we we nonetheless, we need to set intentions for those reasons. I threw resolutions out four years ago. If it requires misery, exhaustion, or guilt, I'm out. Intentions, when you set an intention for the new year, it respects your body and your season of life. So with that being said, I know a lot of you are gonna set resolutions, and I wish you just wouldn't. The reason is intentions allow wiggle room. Resolutions don't. I'm gonna go to the gym five times a week. The minute the first week you go four times, probably the first week in January, you already feel like a loser. You already feel like you've screwed up, you already feel less than. I've been sick of feeling less than in my life. I've felt less than most of my life. This season in my life, I know I'm enough. I know I'm good. I know I'm a good person, a good friend, a good wife, a good sister. I know all those things. I am not going to belittle myself anymore. And that is an intention for the new year, but it's been my intention for a while, and I've been getting good at it. But why would you set a resolution that's just gonna make you feel bad? None of us are perfect, even if you set the resolution. I'm gonna only drink one Diet Coke a week, which I will never make that resolution, let me tell you right now. I've tried and I have failed every time. I've tried, I'm not doing that. I know I like Diet Coke. It's so funny. I really love Diet Coke and I didn't intentionally cut back, but I've cut my Diet Coke consumption way back. Not intentional, just life, and things weren't making me feel good. And I kind of backed off on it. All those bubbles are not so great for my stomach anymore, you know, just funny things like that. But I want you to do something that's gonna be successful. And by setting intention, even if it's let's just say I intend to go to the gym five times a week, the first week you go four times. Are you gonna beat yourself up? No. It's an intention. The next week have the same intention. You'll get there five times. Just don't beat yourself up. So I'm gonna talk about five intentions that are something you may want to set. And at the end of this, I'll tell you what my intentions are for this year. Um, obviously, we know I'm not putting up with BS anymore, but that was not really an intention. It's just aging. So, number one, here's one. I intend to listen to my body, rest when needed, and move in ways that feel good. Pretty nice intention. I do listen to my body. I've had to. It my body's broken down so many times this year between cancer and everything else that I have no guilt ever for taking a nap. I have no guilt for laying down in the middle of the day. I have no guilt for walking in my bedroom with my pajamas on at six and crawling in bed. I have no guilt for any of that. I listen to my body, and I've gotten a little bit better at pushing my body too when I want to. But I want you to think about that. Rest when needed, move in ways that feel good. How does it feel good for me? I love walking in the city. I love going and doing my errands by walking. I will this afternoon. I've got to go to the bank. I've got to do a return at Whole Foods for Amazon. Um, I set my things up. I think Craig is probably gonna text in a few minutes and see if I want to go to McDonald's for lunch, and that can be part of that. Um, I love McDonald's. I'm not sorry about it. I love McDonald's. I will never turn down a trip to McDonald's. Um, but that's kind of a Craig and I thing on Fridays. And if he wants to go, I'm gonna go. And my errands can be done along the way. So I move in ways that feel good. I do 90% of my workout in the pool, as you all know. Why? Because it feels good. I can work my butt off, and nothing hurts. So set your intention. You have listened to me talk ad nauseum about water aerobics. Maybe if you haven't been working out, that should be your intention. Get on the horn, get on the Google, find your local water aerobics and go and take a class. Don't be worried. Don't care about what you look in a bathing suit. Because trust me, after working out, in water aerobics, you're going to look better in that bathing suit. And the truth is, nobody gives a crap about what you look like in that bathing suit. Honest to God. We are all busy talking, yakking, doing our workout. No one cares. So, number one. Number two, I intend to protect my energy. Fewer draining commitments, stronger boundaries. How are your boundaries? Is that something you need to work on? Fewer draining commitments. At this stage in life, you should not say yes to anything you don't want to do. Now, y'all know I did two years of stewardship. The first year, scary as crap, didn't know what I was doing. Only the third time, or that was the second time, that they had had lay leadership do stewardship. I did it again this year. I'm done. I've done it. I've had a very successful campaign this year. We've more than met our goal. I'm very excited. My team did a great job, but it's time to turn it over to somebody else. It takes a lot of place in the fall, and that's when Craig and I like to travel. I don't want to impede that time with something like that. And I know a few people that can handle it well. And will I be there to support them? Yes. And did I create a blueprint for doing it? I absolutely did. So I feel good turning it over to others. It doesn't drain my energy, but it doesn't use my energy efficiently. So I'm going to place my energy elsewhere. I have been talking with Craig, and I know that the church is looking at setting up a friends of the cathedral, and I'm thinking maybe that's something I should be involved in. Because I like to be involved. It keeps me busy, just like these podcasts. I do have pretty strong boundaries at this point. No means no, it's a complete sentence. We've talked about that on this podcast. All right, here's another one. Number three, I intend to stay curious. Learn, explore, say why not. Well, funny enough, I was watching a reality show and they had to do this puzzle, and it was uh it was a Sudoku type puzzle. Craig has been doing Sudoku for years. I never really knew what it was. When I saw what it was on this reality show, I thought I actually would enjoy that. So I think I might start doing some Sudukus. It's not an intention. I have other intentions I've set, but I thought, hmm. But we do need to keep our minds sharp. Again, one of these reasons I do this podcast, I'll tell you something funny. Um, I was in, I have an Adobe membership, Alec and I. Alec uses it for the book he's illustrating, and I use it for this audition is the Adobe audition is what I use for my podcast. It's a highly sophisticated software. Took me quite some time to figure out how to use it, and I've got it down now. I can crank out these podcasts in it. It I know exactly what to do. Could it probably do more? Absolutely, but I get it to do what I needed to do. My music, editing, so on and so forth. Well, when I was poking around in Adobe, they have a podcast software. And I thought, ooh, let's try that today. It looks like a drop-and-go dummy kind of odd. It's so simple that I can't figure out how to get it to work. And I thought, you know what? I'm just gonna go back to this. And when I have time, my one of my intentions this year is to learn that software. I'm actually gonna do some stuff to see if it actually is better and worth learning. And I'm also gonna pay attention to Adobe and some of my other software and see what else is out there. You know, we get hooked into something and we don't learn. So stay curious. There was just an update on the Apple phone. It can do another hundred things. You know, there's like a thousand things that none of us know it can do, and it can. And I work pretty hard at learning those. Well, there's another um couple of handfuls of really useful things that it can do. Go to Apple, take a class. They have classes right there in the Apple store. I have one of the most beautiful Apple stores in the world, a big glass box sitting on the river that is my Apple store. It's beautiful. It's like going on a vacation going there. So, you know, stay curious. Explore, learn, and say, why not? Why not? I intend to nurture my relationships. Quality over quantity, honest conversations. That's a tough one. That's a tough one. So if your relationships are wishy-washy or whatever, or you feel they need some work, quality over quantity, honest conversations. Not always easy to have. Sometimes if you have an honest conversation, you won't have to worry about quantity. I guess that's always the fear. But if you're having a dishonest relationship with someone, is it really a relationship? I don't know. Think about it. All right, number five. I intend to enjoy my life now. Well, I will tell you something, people. I'm enjoying it now, not someday, now. Enjoy your life now. Number one, you're never gonna look as good as this. You're gonna only get older. Tomorrow I'm gonna be older than I am today. You are only gonna have less time in life, not more. Let me repeat that. You are only gonna have less time in life, not more. This is it. This is it, people. I don't care if you're 40, 60, or 80. This is it. Today we have the most time we're gonna ever have. Tomorrow's gonna be less, and so on and so forth. Do things that make you happy. Live your best life today. Say no, it's a complete sentence, and say yes to the things you want to do. A couple years ago, I decided anything that I was afraid of that was gonna come up, I'm gonna do it. And I've been doing that. We were on a suspension bridge in Alaska. I did that. I would have never done that before. I don't like enclosed spaces. I don't like when we used to come visit here, I would never go on the train. I go on it all the time. I go down into the depths of Chicago and I ride the L. That is scary in itself. Um, but I do it because it gets me from here to there. And you know, I feel fine. I feel safe. I do what I want to do now. I have great relationships with my adult kids. Craig and my relationship is always in progress. It is always in progress. Is it good? Not really. Is it bad? Not really. We work on it all the time. It has good moments, it has bad moments, but you know. What? We're here 35 years. We're together. I don't want to go out and look for something else because it'll just be worse. This is the devil I know. I don't know. You know, but it's it's gonna take me into my old age and it's just fine. So set your intentions this year. Don't do resolutions. I don't want you to feel like a failure. I want you to have a good year. My intentions this year are as follows: I intend to give quality podcasts and continue them, even though I'm doing three. My intention is to get a podcast out every week. Occasionally there's a hiccup, and I don't because life happens. My intention is to make money doing this at some point this year. So that's those are my intentions. All basically wrapped around my media empire, Marcy Bacchus Media. How do you live with our your intentions? Check in monthly, adjust without guilt. So if you said you're gonna go to the gym five times a week and you ended up going consistently four in the month of January, adjust your intention to four. If you make it to five, yippee! And do that without guilt. Celebrate progress. Celebrate the little wins, the big wins, all of your wins. Celebrate. Life is short, eat the cake. Eat the cake. Oh, I have one other intention. Oh, this is a tough one. So, as you all know, I had cancer this year. And before I had cancer, I had lost 50 pounds over a couple of years' time. And I have to take some medication so the cancer doesn't come back. I have to take it for five years. I've put on 10 pounds, not more, not less, 10. I go down a little, back up, down a little, back up. I can't seem to drop it below the 10. And the amount that I beat myself up over that 10 pounds is insane. And I my intention is to back off. I still am gonna work at getting it off.
SPEAKER_00:Still gonna work at getting it off. My intentions is to get it off.
SPEAKER_01:But I want you to know that it's these things happen. And it really is out of my control. It is the medication. Can I control it? Probably. Uh, I'm gonna do my best to control it, to get it down. I'm not going up anymore, but I'm gonna work at getting that down. But nonetheless, I look at pictures and I'm like, oh my face, you know, you just so freaking hard on yourself. So, as my intentions are, that is my intention. And I will check in monthly with myself, I will adjust it without guilt, and I will celebrate my progress, and I will let you know how I'm doing with that.
SPEAKER_00:Sometimes things are out of our control, but that doesn't mean we just give up. We don't give up. All right.
SPEAKER_01:Aging ain't for sissies, but intentions make it better. Choose one and let it guide you. Happy New Year. May 2026 bring us all happiness, health, and why not some wealth? Go out there and do something positive.
