The Aging Survival Guide: Surviving retirement

Our Summer Series: Aging Survival Guide

Retirement stops being a vacation fantasy and turns into a real-life identity shift that forces us to answer, “Who am I now?” We share the biggest surprises that hit after leaving work behind and the simple routines that help us rebuild purpose, friendships, and joy. 
• retirement as an identity change not a long break 
• why too much freedom can feel overwhelming 
• how relationships shift when daily life changes 
• social circle shrinkage and the need to build it on purpose 
• routines as emotional scaffolding after leaving work 
• purpose mattering as much as money 
• building a “survival kit” with habits that stick 
• scheduling joy before chores to protect what feeds us 
• learning a new skill each year to stay growing 
• volunteering as a meaningful way to belong 
• moving your body daily even in small ways 
• protecting finances by getting clear and staying organized 
• making new friends through repeated communities like gym or church 
If today's episode reminded you that you're not alone, I'd love for you to share it with a friend. 

Transcript

Welcome And Summer Series Setup

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Hello and welcome to Aging Ape for Sissies. My name is Marcy Packis and I am your host. I want to welcome you back to Aging Ape for Sissies. Again, I am Marcy and uh welcome to the very first chapter of our special summer series, The Aging Survival Guide. Yes, we have a summer series. We're calling it the Aging Survival Guide. I've been working on it for a little while. For the next 10 weeks, we're talking honestly about the things no one prepared us for after 60. Now I've done episodes hither and yon and here and there and everywhere about these subjects, but I thought, wouldn't it be great to have a concise summer series making it a survival guide? So this is not with doom and gloom, but with humor, practical ideas, and the reminder that we're all figuring this out together.

Retirement Identity And The Big Question

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Today's chapter is surviving retirement. Whether you're retired or you're planning for it, or nowhere even close, retirement is really about one question. Who am I when life changes? Think about that question. Who am I when life changes? Nobody warned me. Retirement isn't one long vacation, people. Commercials promise beaches and golf, reality. You wake up on Tuesday wondering why every day suddenly feels like Saturday. So true, right? You need your pill container to remind you of what day it is, or your underpants if you still have those kind of underpants. Work gave us schedules, it gave us friendships, and I am blessed to say I still have some friends from my job. I have two that I talk to every week. Purpose and a ready-made answer when someone asks, What do you do? Do you want to know something really funny, you guys? When people ask me what I do, I go, Oh, I'm retired. I forget to say I'm a podcast host of three podcasts. Because this doesn't feel like work. So when people ask me, what do I do? I tell them I'm retired. I've got to start telling them I'm a podcast host, but I'm working on that. But isn't that funny? So work gave us schedules, friendship, purpose, and ready-made answers when that question comes. Retirement asks a much deeper question of us. Who are you now? That can be exciting for some and terrifying for others.

Marcy’s Career Timeline And Lessons

SPEAKER_00 2:44

So I've had multiple careers. When I was young, my first career, I went to beauty school, I became a hairdresser, I became a hair colorist at a very posh salon. For some reason, I decided I didn't want to do that anymore and went into insurance sales. Don't ask me why. First marriage, I have no idea why I did that. None. But what I learned from that, and my dad told me, no matter what you do in life, you'll look back and you'll see how things were weave together. Well, the funny thing is, what I learned about my short time as an insurance saleswoman was I'm good at sales. So I parlayed my hairdressing knowledge and sales and went into hairdressing sales. I worked for Claire All on the professional side. I was a stage presence. I did hair shows. I had, you know, customers that I called on. I worked for Clairol. I went to work for Helen Curtis. And then I got married and I got pregnant and I stayed home. And through that, I did a billion, a billion volunteer jobs. PTA president. I helped over a hundred boys become Eagle Scouts. I volunteered my butt off. Um, I worked as an art instructor for a while with a program called Meet the Masters. Then I had some things happen with my hands, but I then was just a stay, not just, I was a stay-at-home mom. But when Alec got to be a senior in high school, I went to work for the city of Irvine as a part-time eight two, eight-hour days, is what I did. I ended up with a job there that was what they call um a 32-hour a week position. Loved it, loved my job. And that's what I retired from. But when I retired from that and moved here to Chicago, that was a big old slap in the face. Everything changed. Everything changed. And I'm telling you my story, but I want you to put your story in there. Everything changed for me. I not only retired, I retired in March. And in May, I left my 4,000 square foot home, moved into an 800-square foot condo in a high-rise deep in the city of Chicago. Want to talk about whiplash? That was whiplash, and I had to start a whole new life.

Moving Cities And Rebuilding Life

SPEAKER_00 5:16

And I love my life. Just put it there. If you listen to this week's episode of Inside Marcy's Mind, I'm going to talk to you about what it's like living in a big city. But that was my journey, and I retired and I had to figure out everything. Craig is still working. He's still working today. He's at his office right now, across the street at the cathedral. But when we came here, he had an eight to five job again, and he'd walk to that every day, and I'd be here alone. So not only I lost all my friends, I lost everything. I had no schedule. I had no purpose. Nothing. I had to rebuild that. And I did a great job.

Five Retirement Surprises That Hit

SPEAKER_00 6:01

Here are five of the biggest retirement surprises. Funny enough, too much freedom can feel overwhelming. Relationships will change. You're together more with your spouse. Your social circle shrinks unless you intentionally build it. You need routines more than you expected. And purpose matters as much as money. Okay, there's that money piece. We'll talk about that down the road. But purpose matters as much as money. So those are the five biggest surprises, I think, in retirement. And again, this is my podcast, so what I think matters. You may have some others, but those are the ones I felt were really the biggest.

The Retirement Survival Kit Habits

SPEAKER_00 6:55

So we need a survival kit. We need to create a morning routine. The main thing in retirement: schedule your joy before your chores. Learn one new skill this year. Volunteer somewhere meaningful. I volunteer at the cathedral, my cathedral St. James. You move your body every day. Well, you are ad nauseum listening to me about Equinox at 900 Michigan Avenue, where I now have a trainer. I do two weightlifting workouts a week and five aqua sculpts a week. I work out more than I ever have in my entire life. And I'm happy about it. Isn't that crazy? I'm happy about it. So move your body every day. I don't care if it's just walk into the mailbox if you've gotten out of shape, but find a way to move. Protect your finances. This is a really hard part, protecting your finances. It's very scary. And keep making friends. I've got more new friends and I know what to do with. I have my core group of girlfriends I met here, but you know what? The beauty is they come from the gym and I keep adding more. And I have friends at church, and I've added more at church. We, Craig and I have more friends here than we ever did in the suburbs. It's amazing. It's absolutely amazing. Retirement isn't the end of usefulness, it's graduation into a season where you finally get to decide what deserves your time. You know what? You know you're getting older when you have to check the calendar to know what day it is. You need to check the you also know when you're getting older, when your favorite purchase this month is a new heating pad. Oh God, isn't that the truth? You know you're getting older when your reading glasses are in every room and you still can't find them. That is a fact. All right. Retirement isn't the end of usefulness. It's graduation into a season where you finally get to decide what deserves your time. You know, there is so much beauty in deciding what deserves your time. I love my life. I go to concerts in the park. I walk down to the river. I walk out to the lake. I today I came home from the gym. I had a salad. Instead of eating it in the house, we have a huge deck, uh a communal deck here on the roof of our parking structure here. It's gorgeous. It's planted beautifully, it's decorated beautifully. It has six different um couch seating areas. I went and laid on a couch, ate my salad, listened to a podcast, and enjoyed my time outside.

Friendship And Meaning In A New Season

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Craig texted me and said, My friend Isaac, I've made a little friend Isaac. Isaac is seven, going to be eight. Isaac and I are buddies. And um, Craig said Isaac was over at the cathedral. His dad is a priest there. And uh I had a gift for Isaac. I had some sour, gummy things that he loves, and then a box of these buildable block things. And so I walked over and I took those to him. I've I don't have grandkids, but I've got great nieces and nephews who I absolutely adore. And I and Isaac and I have just become friends, and he's he's like a uh a grandchild in all the best ways. Just a friend. We talk, we laugh, we play games. I walked him, we went to the Harry Potter store the other day, and then we went to the big candy store right here in my street, and he said I lived in the best neighborhood, and I do. But he fills a place in my heart, and he's so kind and he's so sweet, and he cares about me. And it's a wonderful little friendship that I've created here. Just remember retirement isn't the end of usefulness, it's graduation into a season where you finally get to decide what deserves your time.

Two Hour Joy Challenge

SPEAKER_00 11:15

So I'm gonna give you a challenge for the week. This week, block two hours on your calendar for something that fills your soul, not your to-do list. I want you to read, paint, travel, call a friend, learn Spanish, take a walk, volunteer. Protect those two hours like you would a doctor visit. Don't fill it in with anything else. Do something that fills your soul with happiness.

Other Podcasts And What’s Next

SPEAKER_00 11:49

I want to remind you if you're enjoying my Aging A for Sissies, be sure to check out my other podcast, Inside Marcy's Mind. Again, this week we're gonna talk about what it's like living in a city. I explore everyday life ideas. It's a conversation for all ages. And if recovery is a part of your journey or someone you love, join me on Unbottled, the honest conversations about sobriety, hope, and living one day at a time. Everything I do lives on my website, Marcybackismedia.com. You can also find all of my podcasts everywhere you found this podcast. So stick with me, stay with me. This is just a short start to our survival guide. These episodes aren't gonna be super long because I'm gonna keep my personal life out of it, maybe a little bit. Life's going really good, everyone. I, you know, I'm I'm hesitant to say it because last year at this time I was a hot freaking mess. I really was. I had fallen, I had gotten stitches, I had um blown out my throat, I was in the hospital over and over again. I was getting radiation all summer. I and this summer is so delightful and so beautiful, and I'm so freaking happy. My life is fulfilled. Is it perfect? Absolutely not. But everything I'm telling you in this survival guide for retirement are things I'm practicing. So if I can tell you one thing, listen to what I say, take what works for you, leave the rest. But this week, definitely make that appointment with yourself for two hours and do something that fills your soul. Walk through a museum. I mean, I have the world at my feet here. I can go right now, in 10, 15 minutes, I can be at a lake that looks like an ocean, or I could be at a river and um sit and watch people. I can be in a world-class, the top-of-the-line museums. I can catch the 146 going down Michigan Avenue to the museum campus. I can be at an aquarium, I can be at museums, I can be at so many things. I'm so blessed. But find in your life what feeds your soul and do it this week. All right, so our summer series, the retirement survival guide. And today we did talk about surviving retirement. So remember, too much freedom can feel overwhelming, relationships will change, your social circle could shrink, you need routines more than you thought, and purpose matters as much as money. So here are the things I need you to do: create a morning routine, schedule joy before chores, learn one new skill this year. I want to learn mahjong. That's my skill. I think that's a skill. Volunteer somewhere meaningful, move your body every day, port protect your finances, spend some time since you've retired and figure out your finances, make sure you have a way to make your money last. I don't want money to be. So, in other words, money should not be a stressor, even though it's always a stressor for me. But if you know where it is, you know how much you have, and you know how to parson it out for this, that, and the other thing, you'll feel better. And I want you to keep making friends. Keep making friends. It's important. So that's your first part of your survival guide. If today's episode reminded you that you're not alone, I'd love for you to share it with a friend. Next week, we turn the page to chapter two, surviving the doctor's office. And I've a lot to say about that. We'll talk about advocating for yourself, asking better questions, keeping track of medications, and finding your voice in today's healthcare system. That one you can't miss. Until then, keep laughing, keep learning, and remember aging ain't for sissies. And go out and do something positive in this crazy ass world!