Aging ain't for Sissies
Aging isn't easy. My name is Marcy Backhus and I am your host! Make sure your complete well-being is handled with a community and information that can make it easier and FUN. Aging needs humor, which you can find in the "Aging ain't for Sissies" Podcast, along with informational guests that give us the information we need.
Aging ain't for Sissies
Travel After 60 Made Simple
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We talk about how travel after 60 changes and why those changes can make us better travelers who enjoy the trip instead of enduring it. We share practical ways to plan for comfort, energy, and real life so the adventure stays fun.
• shifting from proving ourselves to enjoying ourselves
• planning buffer days for recovery and reducing exhaustion
• packing lighter and skipping the fantasy outfits
• choosing comfortable shoes and avoiding new-shoe mistakes
• avoiding overscheduling and keeping an empty afternoon
• building in rest with naps, long lunches, and bench time
• using airport and credit card perks to make travel easier
• spending for ease and experiences instead of souvenirs
• traveling our way even when our partner travels differently
Go find it, marcybackhusmedia.com
Go out and do something positive.
Hello
Welcome And Summer Series Setup
SPEAKER_00and welcome to Ag Name for Sissies. My name is Marcy Backins, and I am your host. I do want to welcome you all back to AGNA for Sissies. I am Marcy, and this summer we've been working our way through the Aging Survival Guide because nobody hands us an instruction manual having children or retiring. Frankly, they should. We've talked about retirement, we've talked about doctors, we've talked about technology, downsizing, and friendship. How friendships can change. And today we're tackling something I absolutely love traveling. More specifically, traveling out after 60. Because here's what I've discovered. I still want the adventure. I still want to see the world. I still want to get on an airplane. I still want to wander around a city I've never seen before. I just no longer want to do it in uncomfortable shoes. There comes a point in life where you realize I have nothing left to prove to footwear. And I'm there, completely there.
Craig’s Stroke Update And Tests
SPEAKER_00And for me, that is a surprise. Before we go any further, though, I do want to take a quick moment because I did mention that Craig had had a stroke. He did. He's doing very well. And uh yeah, you know, they're doing a ton of tests. They can't seem to find anything. They're gonna put a heart monitor on him. Funny enough, I have one on. So they said we would have matching heart monitors, the neurology team today, um, and see if he has AFib. Um, it runs in his family. Two sisters and his mom had AFib. So that's something that we can correct. They're gonna put him on some medicine for the next um 19 days that keeps him from having a stroke. After that, hopefully we have some answers. And they did say, and this is always the hard thing, we may have no answers. But the good thing is no damage. He's not brain damaged, he's not physically damaged at all. He's doing just fine. He just wants to get back to running. And since I'm on a trip right now, there will be no running until I get back. So the timing of this episode is pretty perfect because I'm getting ready to head out on vacation myself. I'm actually on it while you're hearing this, but I am getting ready for it. I'm I'm recording this one a little early. And just so you know, if you hear some crazy sound in the background, that's the Jets practicing for the um air and water show this weekend here in downtown Chicago. So they can make a lot of noise sometimes, but I can't stop them. So it is what it is. Traveling
Why Travel Still Matters After 60
SPEAKER_00is definitely on my mind. The packing, the planning, the anticipation, the inevitable moment when I look at everything I've put out to pack and think, Marcy, you're not moving there. Now, I have done an episode on packing, and if you go back and listen to it, I now use the Sudoku packing method. On my website, MarcyBacchusMedia.com is uh a printout. You can click on it and print it out on how to do the Sudoku packing method. I've done it on my last three trips and I love it. I'm not going to explain it to you today because I've already done that, but just know it's there. Go find it, Marcybacchusmedia.com. All right. So today we're talking about how travel changes when we get older and why I actually think some of those changes make me a better traveler. Welcome to the Aging Survival Guide. Now let's go somewhere.
Comfort Standards And Recovery Days
SPEAKER_00All right. I've always loved going places. There's something about getting out of your normal routine that wakes you up a little, a little different. Different food, different scenery, different people, different streets. Even something as simple as drinking your own morning coffee somewhere you've never been before feels exciting. But the way I travel now is definitely different from the way I traveled when I was younger. Oh, and that is the truth. Packing is one of those biggest things, parts of it. When you're young, you tolerate almost everything. A terrible hotel? Eh, it's fine. Six o'clock flight, six a.m. flight. Well, I'll sleep on the plane. I still do that one. 14 activities in one day. That's where I draw the line. Walking eight miles in shoes that are actively removing the skin from your feet. They're cute. No. Those days are over. Today I want the adventure and I want to enjoy it. I want decent accommodations. I want to see everything, but I also want to sit down occasionally. And I have finally accepted that having a completely empty afternoon on vacation is not wasting your vacation. It's not. That might actually be one of the greatest lessons of getting older. You don't have to squeeze every drop of out of every minute. Sometimes enjoying where you are is enough. Did you hear that? Sometimes enjoying where you are is enough. Nobody warned me, nobody warned me that travel after 60 would require slightly more logistics. It does. First of all, bathrooms matter. There, I said it. When I was 25, I don't remember ever thinking, I wonder where the bathroom is. Do you? Think about it. Now I can walk into practically any building and immediately identify three possible bathroom locations. It's like my superpower. Restaurant, bathroom, probably toward the back. Museum, or if you're in Europe, probably downstairs. Museum near the entrance. Department store, second floor near housewares. We develop skills, people, as we get older and use them. Use your powers wisely. Nobody warned me about recovery time either. Remember when you could come home from a vacation Sunday night at 11:30 and be somewhere Monday morning at 8? Who was that woman? Because guess what? She's gone. Now I want a buffer day. I want a buffer day when I get there, and I want a buffer day when I get home. I want to unpack, do laundry, see my cats, look at my own refrigerator, sleep in my own bed. And stare at the wall for a little while. That's not weakness, that's excellent planning. Nobody warn me that I would become incredibly particular about hotel beds or pillows or room temperature or noise. At 25, there's a bed, great. At 65, what kind of mattress is this? And does the air conditioning fan remain on continuously? We have standards now, and I don't apologize for them. I have to tell you something funny. On my other podcast, Inside Marcy's Mind, I I uh two weeks ago I did an episode on all the little things that make you happy. And one of those little things was clean sheets. And I was talking to my son Alec about it, and Alec said, before he goes on any trip, he washes his sheets so that when he comes home and takes the shower, gets all the grime off him because he's probably traveling somewhere grimy because he's climbing and rafting down a river or whatever. He takes that shower, gets himself squeaky clean, and gets into those clean sheets. So if you haven't listened to Inside Marcy's Mind at all, I suggest you do. Have a lot of great um podcasts on that one as well. But I did one, like I said, look it up a couple weeks ago, weeks ago about small things being great. All right. So on to onto. All right. Stop
Stop Traveling Like You’re 25
SPEAKER_00traveling like you're 25. That might be the biggest survival strategy of them all. Heavy suitcases, good God. Do you really have the strength to lift it up and do what you need to do? Sometimes we make ourselves miserable trying to prove we can still travel exactly the way we did decades ago. And I don't know why you would. You're not 25, and thank God you're not. You've learned a few things. You've earned some comfort. If you know you need a decent night's sleep, plan for it. If a 6 a.m. flight is going to destroy you for the entire first day, maybe don't book it because it's $47 cheaper. Don't do it. Now, early morning flights I like. I like getting out at 6 a.m. First of all, in Chicago from downtown to the airport is 25 minutes at 5 o'clock in the morning. Do you know what it's not at 8 o'clock? It's not 25 minutes. So just give me that early flight and get me out. But if that's not you, don't do it. Don't pick a flight just because you save 47 bucks, because you save 47 on airfare and spend 83 buying coffee and snacks trying to stay conscious. That's not savings. That's bad girl math. Travel for the person you are today. Do not travel like you were 30 years ago or 40 years ago or 50 years ago, however old you are. Oh, this is my favorite one. Pack lighter, people. I have become a huge believer in packing lighter because nobody needs 11 outfits for six days. You don't. And if you do my Sudoku packing method, go look it up on my website. You won't need to. You can have a billion outfits out of nine pieces. And yes, I'm talking to myself. I do not, I don't have the strength when, especially when I fly alone. If I'm flying with Craig, he can lift things up and get it off, get it up in the overhead, or if we check him, get it. I I can't. I need it light. And you don't need to pack all those clothes that you don't even wear at home. Like, who are you on vacation? Are you someone different? No, I love to wear exercise clothes. I wear them on vacation. It's great. I'm not somebody different when I'm in Paris. I'm just not. Oh, you know, you know, there's always that fantasy outfit that you pack. You know the one. Maybe we'll go somewhere really fancy. Well, you're not. Or if you are, have something simple planned. The little black dress, remember that? Or maybe I'll become someone who suddenly wears this. You won't. If you don't wear it at home, you're probably not gonna wear it and become a completely different person on your vacation. Pack wisely, pack lightly. Make sure you have shoes. We're gonna talk about the shoes now. This deserves its own category. Cute shoes are wonderful. Cute shoes that hurt your feet are dead to me. I have nothing in my closet that hurts my feet. I don't. I got rid of it all. I'm too old for it. I still have great-looking shoes. I still dress fabulously. But let me tell you something. My shoe wear is comfortable. You've made that mistake. You've bought new shoes, worn them on vacation, and had to take an Uber back to the hotel because you couldn't walk. You know you've done it. Don't do it anymore. Our next strategy, number four, don't overschedule. This is important. Craig is the worst. That mom wants to schedule from his first poop in the morning until closing his eyes at night when we're on vacation. I have gotten him better at it. And you know what I've also learned? Guess what? I need a nap in the afternoon. If you need to keep going, have at it. And he goes. Then he comes back and we go back out. He doesn't have a problem touring on his own. So you know what? I go back to the hotel, I take my little siesta, I'm refreshed and happy and ready to go. And he comes back and off we go. Figure out what works for you, but keep an empty afternoon. Because there may be something that you hadn't planned that you want to do. Always keep one afternoon empty. All right, number five, building in rest without apologizing. I just talked a little bit about that in our last segment because plan rest. If it's not a nap, if it's just you are going to someplace for lunch, and I'll look at Craig and go, I want this to be a long lunch. Or you see a beautiful fountain and you want to sit on the bench. And again, I'll sit on the bench, I'll relax, I'll have my diet coke or whatever it is. And he goes off and does his thing and comes back. Many a bench as I've sat down by myself because he's out farting around. It's fine by me, no resentments. I don't care. I don't need to see it all. He does. So for 35 years of marriage, we have figured out some strategies that work for us, and I suggest you do the same. Again, I want you to plan for your real body. Whatever your body needs, plan for it. If you need medication, water, my water always needs a hydration packet in it. I carry hydration packets everywhere I go. If you need compression socks, wear them. I wear them on the plane and I wear them the first night sleeping in the hotel. Makes a huge difference on my swelling. Take a sweater on that dang plane. You know it's got two temperatures, roasting and meat locker. Like it's gonna be one or the other. Wear comfortable clothes. Don't look like a slob, though. Don't look nice, look put together, but put together can be comfortable.
Airport Timing And Perks That Help
SPEAKER_00And give yourself extra time. Give it is so unbelievably hard to judge the airport anymore. If you have advantages with any of your cards, take them. Right now, with we fly 99.9% with American. Uh, if I go on the American website to my account, you can go in. And if you've got a passport loaded with them, you can choose just facial recognition. I just walk up, they look at my face, I don't have to show them anything, and I go. And it's not extra pay for, there's no money for it. It's not that I scan. This is built in to your, you have to have TSA. So now if you go to TSA, look, there's two ways to go left or right. If you go right, if you're just one of them regular, because TSA is getting too crowded. So now they have if you're extra special, which I am, of course, you go to the left and they just scan your face. You don't have to do anything, it makes it so easy. So there you have it. So check into everything that you can use to make traveling easier for you. Also, um, Craig has Platinum for Life on American, so he gets to go into the lounge for free. But our we have a credit card that we share, an American Airlines Platinum card. And I don't have to be with him. I just have my card, I show it, and they let me in. So look at your stuff. That is my number one tip. Look at your credit card, find out what benefits and perks you have. Use them. You're paying for them.
Spend For Ease Not Souvenirs
SPEAKER_00All right. Spend money where it makes the trip better. Okay, I'm not saying throughout your budget, but if you've flown all the way somewhere and you want to see something and you find out it's expensive and you're not gonna do it, that's stupid. You're already there, do it. Maybe you don't care about the hotel because you never in the room. Great, have a cheaper hotel. Maybe you absolutely care about the hotel, put your money there. Maybe you spend, I don't buy souvenirs at all. At all. Don't buy them. Gives us more money to eat with. Maybe you take this taxi instead of dragging luggage six blocks. Spend your money wisely. I've become much more willing to pay for ease. Not luxury next necessarily, but ease. If it's gonna make it easier on me, excuse me, then I do it. And sometimes ease is worth every stinking penny. It definitely is. All right.
Travel Your Way Even When Married
SPEAKER_00What am I doing differently? The biggest things I'm doing differently now is giving myself permission to travel Marcy's way. Not even Craig's way, my way. I don't have to see everything. I don't have to do everything. I don't have to come home exhausted to prove I had a good time. And I think that applies to more than travel. There's something wonderful that happens when we get older. We start to figure out what we actually like, not what we're supposed to like, not what everyone else is doing or saying or liking, what we like. If I want to spend three hours wandering through a neighborhood instead of going to the famous museum everybody says I have to see, I'm wandering. If I want to wander and Craig sees that museum, we split up. Just because you're married doesn't mean you each want to have the exact same vacation. In 75% of the way Craig and I do, 25% of the ways we don't. And Craig has gotten mature enough now to let me do what I want to do. It took him a little while, but he's there. I let him do what he wants, I do what I want. Like I said, 75% of the time we're doing the same thing. All right. It's a wonderful thing about getting older is realizing those things. Realizing we can like what we like, what we like. If I want to spend three hours again wandering, I'm gonna do it. I'm a wanderer. If I want to have a big, long lunch, I'm having a big long lunch. If I don't want to eat lunch at all, I'm not going to. This is part of our life at home, too. Craig used to be this three meal a guy day guy. And I first of all, it just makes me fat and I don't want to be fat anymore. I've lost 50 pounds. I'd like to stay that way. So I finally, a while ago, said to him, I'm gonna eat the way I want you to eat the way you want. Some days I'll cook and I'll say, I'll let him know before he goes to work across the street that I'm cooking lunch. Come on, come on home if you want it. If he doesn't want it, then it's just extras and goes in the fridge. Like, I'm not doing it anymore. I'm not cooking three meals a day. I'm not eating three meals a day. And it's been glorious for both of us. Um, he's on Ozimpic and I'm on Wagovi. Neither one of us are all that hungry. And now it's he he's been on Wago, I've been on it for a long time. He's been on um Osimpic for just a short period of time and it's working for him. But I'll tell you what, we're not as hungry as we used to be, and I'm grateful he's not. So, again, do what works for you and do that on vacation. Maybe you need more comfort than you used to. Maybe flying wears you out. Do it your way. I think that's the important part. It's vacationing your way. We have a tendency to think because we can't or we don't want to, or something that the way we once did it, we can't do it anymore. Maybe we shouldn't do it at all. I reject that. Change the trip, change the pace, change the shoes, change the expectations. But don't automatically give up the adventure. There is still so much to see. And one of the beautiful things about traveling at this age is that I think we're finally old enough to actually notice where we are. We're not rushing quite as much. We're not trying to impress anybody. We understand the experiences are temporary. So maybe we appreciate them a little bit more.
The Weekly Challenge To Keep Dreaming
SPEAKER_00I'm going to give you a little challenge for the week, like I always do. And here's your challenge. I want you to think about one place you'd still really like to go. I don't care if you stop traveling. I want you to think about it. It doesn't have to be Europe. It doesn't even have to be expensive. Maybe it's just a town two hours away from where you live that you always wanted to explore. Maybe it's a national park, New York, Paris, the beach. Maybe it's visiting somebody you love, your kids, your grandkids. Write it down and then ask yourself, what's actually stopping me? Is it money, time, fear? At this age, fear is a big one. There's a lot of unknowns in traveling. And even I, who are very well traveled, I'm pretty with it and pretty strong and knowing what I'm doing. I get intimidated. And I no longer gonna be hard on myself about that. I get intimidated if I am in a new situation. I didn't used to be like that. I used to have all the confidence in the world. I still have confidence, but I can still get intimidated. So ask yourself those questions, nobody to go with. Is that another one? Or have you simply gotten out of the habit of imagining yourself going somewhere? Because sometimes the first step toward an adventure is simply allowing yourself to picture it again.
Closing Thoughts And Sendoff
SPEAKER_00So that is your homework this week. Do it. Travel after 60 may look a little different. It might need better shoes, more bathroom stops, a better mattress, a nap, an extra day to recover when we get home. But you know what? We're still going. And maybe now we're going with a little more wisdom, a little more patience, and a lot less luggage. Hopefully, I am Marcy and this is Aging A for Sissies. Remember, you don't have to travel the way you used to. You just have to keep finding ways to have adventures. I'll see you next time on Aging, the Aging Survival Guide. And now, if you'll excuse me, I have a suitcase to pack and then unpack and then pack again. Probably three times. Go out and do something positive.